hothotphone:

"Coasters"

“Wow, you sure have a lot of coasters.”

“I know, right? Gotta protect your surfaces.”

“Since you brought it up, where are your tables?”

“Sold them. Needed money for the coasters.”

“Then where do you put your glasses down?”

“Don’t have any glasses. Sold them to buy more coasters.”

“So what do you use the coasters for?”

“To start conversations.”

“How do you end the conversations?”

“Haven’t gotten that far yet. Hey, check out my coasters.”

“Wow, you sure have a lot of coasters.”

[Keaton Patti is a writer and comedian living in New York City. You may remember him from the previous sentence.]

Wednesday
22.10.14 at 2:11

via: come-on-fhqwhgadss
credit: thisisnicolai
- 283464 -
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entering-loser-ville:

godshideouscreation:

thisisnicolai:

"Fuck yo ambitions"

this is honestly the best post and so like dogs its not even funny

One time my mom dropped 20 dollars and my dog ate it

Tuesday
21.10.14 at 21:49

via: annaoverboard
credit: blossomfully
- 4271 -
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"You still love him," he says, half question, half demand.

"Of course I don’t." She replies.

But then part of her wonders whose arms she’d run into if she still had the choice.

"You still think of him," he whispers, when she’s turned off the lights and lies there trying not to give her thoughts away.

"Go to sleep," she says.

But when her eyes are closed and she drifts between consciousness, she swears it’s his voice she hears and his fingers tracing the rise and fall of her ribs.

"Do you miss him?" He asks.

"No." And it’s not a lie, not really.

But part of her still remembers how he made her smile and how she buried her 2am laughter into his chest. Part of her still questions the possibility of seeing him again, and she thinks, maybe just once, for old time’s sake.

“Would you go back?” He finally asks.

And she can’t help herself.

"Yes." She says, "yes."


---

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #73 (via blossomfully)

Bruuhh…

(via dat-tumblahh-thoe)

Write the book. Please.

(via annaoverboard)

lunawhitlock:

birdghost:

irl-spain:

sentimentalslut:

people say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways

'eat something'

'buckle up'

'get some sleep'

'here have my fries'

'Im gonna draw you something'

"You’re a dork"

Monday
20.10.14 at 15:16

via: sexceptional
credit: wvoodoo
- 24534 -
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Monday
20.10.14 at 13:05

via: canhappenlove
credit: canhappenlove
- 1300 -
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Monday
20.10.14 at 10:55

via: dutchster
credit: tastefullyoffensive
- 244952 -
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Monday
20.10.14 at 8:44

via: desparate
credit: difficult
- 101191 -
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Monday
20.10.14 at 6:33

via: definitive
credit: plasmatics-life
- 69161 -
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Monday
20.10.14 at 4:22

via: okay
credit: madsmikkelsenn
- 530242 -
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leonardodicrapio:

Leonardo DiCaprio gets attacked by a penguin during a trip to the Arctic in 2006

Monday
20.10.14 at 2:11

via: refreshes
credit: stvdy
- 3450 -
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Sunday
19.10.14 at 21:49

via: asian
credit: boyirl
- 59269 -
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Sunday
19.10.14 at 19:38

via: mcqueeny
credit: flirtey
- 339808 -
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theme.